Sunday, January 22, 2012

Contemplating

I was thinking about all the blogs I have started, thought about, and created and wondering, "Why the hell do I create all of these blogs?!"  Each of my blogs have a little part of me.  My sexual part, my angry part, my weightloss journey part, my need to be happy part.  Why cant I just have all of those parts written in one big blog?  Not that I am asking you but these are the thoughts that go through my head.  I have always hid parts of me and I felt good about it.  I enjoyed having the secret.  But then I started opening myself up more, struggling with the me that IS me and ended up being afraid of all those quirky crazy sides of me.

Are you still with me?  It is confusing I know and I am being a little more analytical then I need to be but it is a constant struggle.  I want to let people see who I really am but not everyone can handle that. I dont want to deal with their criticism or THEIR truth.  I guess that is reason enough why I dont talk much on social sites and I dont talk much really in person.  I have gotten tired of getting beat down.  It is sad really.  Crazy really.  Hope I can break free of it all.

1 comment:

John said...

People should take you for who you really are inside. I know it's hard to open up with those kinds of fears, but don't let people get you down!